Manic. Alienated. Blah.

I think I'm manic, maybe bipolar. Sometimes I'm feeling fine and life is good and other times, no matter how absolutely fine things are, I feel so...blah. I think I don't have enough real friends here. I'm on a amateur sport team here but haven't been able to really connect to anyone on the team. Lots of friends, but no real friends on the team. I think its me. It could be because my teammates are in their mid to late twenties and most don't have a college education. One is a college grad, that I'm aware of, but she is a pothead. I am not. Another went to law school but failed the bar a few years ago and has yet to retake it so its just awkward. I can't seem to connect with anyone on the team. Maybe I'm being a snob, not really sure. I work with one of my teammates, we are fairly close and she is someone I would call a friend but....dunno...something...
I worked over the weekend and J is working tonight so maybe that is why I'm feeling...lonely(?) sad(?) depressed (?) I don't make plans to meet up for drinks or whatever, so maybe it is me. I sometimes feel like I'm imposing on others when I say "Hey, lets get drinks after work." But then most of the time, I just want to go home and veg. I probably need to be on medication and/or see a therapist. I feel like this is how someone in high school or college would feel. I'm in my early/almost mid thirties. Blah. Midlife crisis? Geez, I really hope not. Cuz I am engaged to a wonderful man and we are planning on having a family. I'd like to think that isn't b/c I'm going through a midlife crisis. Whatev. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I'll probably read this later and think WTF?

The Half.

I ran the half marathon this past weekend. My official time was 2 hours and 24 min and 17 seconds. That was on Saturday. I was super sore, could hardly walk on Sunday. My legs were sore as expected but what sucks is that the bottom outer edge of my feet really, really, really hurt. Bad. It feels like I was tortured/punished and the bottoms of my feet were caned. Not so bad today but I still have to put my feet up at the end of the day. J says it is my plantar fascia. He doesn't think it is plantar fasciitis because that is more of a chronic condition. I just have inflammation of the plantar fascia because I (have the crazies) decided to run a half marathon without training.

5 miles.

I ran 5 miles Saturday. Took me a little less than an hour to finish. First time I've actually run in a over three months and the last time was during practice and was less than a mile. My legs are sore but not too bad. I expected to be in pain and not able to move very well. I really want to run a half marathon this coming Saturday. I have the crazies. We'll see what happens.