Going well.

The transfer to BK is going well. The staff is super great and the head BK attorney is really cool. They, and when I say they, I mean the staff, were making fun of him b/c he is over 40 and rides a BMX at the bike park (yes, he actually gets in the half pipe and tries/does tricks). He gets after it and has the bruises to prove it. I said, "Just give me ten years, I'll be like 'Fuck yeah, I still skate, I'm a derby girl.'" They just roared with laughter. Work, is work. I just want to enjoy it. I still have my civil files and still have to consult with SFT but its OK. I had a talk with the Partner earlier this week , the real partner who actually owns the Firm, and told her (yes, the Partner is a her and I have to admit she is awesome) that I was considering other positions and was most likely going to quit b/c I did not get along with SFT but for the transfer to BK. She didn't quite react but there was a shift in her position and a change in the angle of her head. I believe she heard me. Don't get me wrong, I do not think that I am indispensable. I know that I have to work to live and am at the mercy of others. It is a fact of life for most. It was only by whatever divine intervention that I landed at the Firm. I know my position and am OK with it. I actually have no aspirations to own my own business; I don't want that kind of responsibility -- however much I covet the independence. But I think that is it: I know my position. Do you?
Perhaps that sounds cocky, but for all intents and purposes, if one is content with her/his position in life, whatever position it is, shouldn't that be enough?

Valentine.

Today, as you may all be aware, was the last workday before Valentine's Day, which is on Sunday. Our law firm has multiple offices across the southwestern US. An associate who worked at the same office I did till about a month ago, moved to another state and is now managing partner of an office that the Firm opened there. The new office consists of him, his wife (not an attorney), and another attorney. I did not get along with him when he was at our office. He was a condescending asshole and a cousin (by marriage) to SFT.
This managing partner in another state sent this mass email out today titled "Flower Power" and he wrote "I sent my wife flowers for Valentine's Day but there is no one else here to tell her how pretty the flowers are or how lucky she is. Can you guys tell her that her flowers are pretty and that she is lucky?"
Are you fucking kidding me? WTF? SRSLY? So, yeah, being the brat that I am, responded to ALL, "She deserves more than flowers for putting up with you."
I should be more careful but I just can't help myself. A few others were polite and responded accordingly; most did not respond at all (well, they did not respond to ALL if they did). Maybe next time, if there is a next time and I don't get fired (and I know how much clout he has, which is not much b/c I draft the intra-office contracts -- and as a side note: HA! I had to take the second semester of contracts twice!) he will know better than to cc me on such nonsense.

SFT is still SFT.

I've been working as an attorney for almost two years at a small firm. The senior staff attorney is a turd (think Eric Cartman in South Park "Respect my authorita!") and I've named him SFT for Short Fat Turd. He started off reading a printout of an email on my desk, from the owner to me, and claimed he was looking for candy and happened to read the email. It's been rocky ever since. Today he reached an all time high. SFT is in charge of civil litigation. There is another attorney, a managing partner, in charge of BK. I've been trying to move away from SFT and get into bankruptcy. Changes were in place and civil litigation is moving to another office. BK is staying where it is at. SFT and the associates (no managing partner) had lunch together today. SFT talked about billing and case load. He pointed out that my case load was a bit light. Me: I know, and it's my understanding was that I would do less civil and more BK, BK is not on my case list. If you want, I will put my BK stuff on my case list if u want to review it. SFT: OK b/c I'm worried that you don't have enough work. Me, again: I will put my BK stuff on the case list. SFT then talked about the new office and that "we", as in all of us, were moving in May. Me: You know I'm not moving, right? Him: What? Me: I'm not moving and I'm staying and working with BK as [managing partner's] second. SFT: That's news to me. Me: Well, I talked to [managing partner] and he said I'm staying as his second. SFT: Well, he's not your boss and it's not up to him..... Me: thinking but not saying: he's a managing partner and you're not so I think you're wrong. SFT: ...so do you want to move or do you want to stay? Me: Stay. [awkward silence] Then another associate asked about hobbies or something to change the subject. It was pretty awesomely awkward.
It gets better. After lunch, I'm working at my desk and the managing partner comes into my office and says: you're moving. Me: What? Him: Downstairs to be closer to BK, so that you'll be in the mix of things. Me: I'm not moving to the other office, right? Him: No. Downstairs. Me: Phew! Are you moving me now b/c of what happened at lunch? Him: What happened at lunch? I then ratted out SFT. I'm moving by the end of this week to BK!!! HA!

Paris, Texas

I just finished watching this movie and I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. Bawling, literally. I know, its a bit silly but I couldn't help it. If you've ever had a first love, really had a first love, and lost him/her, you would understand. My first love was my high school sweetheart. I would have done anything for him. But he treated me like shit. He turned into a controlling jackass. Fresh out of high school, I knew I had to get a job that would support my goals to pursue further education without my parents' help so I enrolled in a technical college that offered a 15 month accelerated program. I finished the program and passed the state exam to become a respiratory therapist at the age of 19. We married about 6 months before I got my state license. We moved to another city where I landed a job since I immediately made more than he did. He found a job working at a clothing store, in the back, putting clothes on hangers. Oh, did I mention he is also a "musician." He was also rehearsing with two bands at the time. After about six months, I told him I wanted to go back to school and maybe go to med school. That I didn't want to live in a one bedroom apartment and raise kids in it. He said he was perfectly happy with our situation and that if I wanted more, I could get a second job since I was working 12 hour shifts for only three days a week. That's just the tip of the iceberg. He wanted to quit his job because there was a third band he wanted to join and therefore rehearse with so he didn't have time to work. He also said things that ended with "its your duty as my wife." So I left. That was over ten years ago. I am 33 now. I am in a wonderful relationship with an amazing man. Most of the time I don't give the ex a second thought. He was an ass and I am so much better off now. I would not be in the position I am now if I had stayed with him. But this movie, while not at all similar to my life, bought about that sense of lost I haven't felt in a long time. Weird. And. Awesome.