Paris, Texas

I just finished watching this movie and I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. Bawling, literally. I know, its a bit silly but I couldn't help it. If you've ever had a first love, really had a first love, and lost him/her, you would understand. My first love was my high school sweetheart. I would have done anything for him. But he treated me like shit. He turned into a controlling jackass. Fresh out of high school, I knew I had to get a job that would support my goals to pursue further education without my parents' help so I enrolled in a technical college that offered a 15 month accelerated program. I finished the program and passed the state exam to become a respiratory therapist at the age of 19. We married about 6 months before I got my state license. We moved to another city where I landed a job since I immediately made more than he did. He found a job working at a clothing store, in the back, putting clothes on hangers. Oh, did I mention he is also a "musician." He was also rehearsing with two bands at the time. After about six months, I told him I wanted to go back to school and maybe go to med school. That I didn't want to live in a one bedroom apartment and raise kids in it. He said he was perfectly happy with our situation and that if I wanted more, I could get a second job since I was working 12 hour shifts for only three days a week. That's just the tip of the iceberg. He wanted to quit his job because there was a third band he wanted to join and therefore rehearse with so he didn't have time to work. He also said things that ended with "its your duty as my wife." So I left. That was over ten years ago. I am 33 now. I am in a wonderful relationship with an amazing man. Most of the time I don't give the ex a second thought. He was an ass and I am so much better off now. I would not be in the position I am now if I had stayed with him. But this movie, while not at all similar to my life, bought about that sense of lost I haven't felt in a long time. Weird. And. Awesome.