House Hunting.

J and I have been house hunting. It's exciting and depressing at the same time. We've qualified for a loan. We are looking at properties on larger lots. Most of the houses we've looked at all need work, a lot of work, not just a touch of paint. So, opting not to spend the next ten years on a money pit, we are still looking.
On a side note, our realtor was referred by the manager of our other office. I (gullibly) though she was actually referring him to me b/c she though he was good, reliable, etc. Well, so far he has been great but I've since found out that they are dating. She showed up at a house we were looking and at first I thought it was just kinda odd. Duh! AND not only are they dating but he is the soon to be ex-husband of an employee at the office I work at. And I'm helping that employee with her divorce! Small world.

Manic. Alienated. Blah.

I think I'm manic, maybe bipolar. Sometimes I'm feeling fine and life is good and other times, no matter how absolutely fine things are, I feel so...blah. I think I don't have enough real friends here. I'm on a amateur sport team here but haven't been able to really connect to anyone on the team. Lots of friends, but no real friends on the team. I think its me. It could be because my teammates are in their mid to late twenties and most don't have a college education. One is a college grad, that I'm aware of, but she is a pothead. I am not. Another went to law school but failed the bar a few years ago and has yet to retake it so its just awkward. I can't seem to connect with anyone on the team. Maybe I'm being a snob, not really sure. I work with one of my teammates, we are fairly close and she is someone I would call a friend but....dunno...something...
I worked over the weekend and J is working tonight so maybe that is why I'm feeling...lonely(?) sad(?) depressed (?) I don't make plans to meet up for drinks or whatever, so maybe it is me. I sometimes feel like I'm imposing on others when I say "Hey, lets get drinks after work." But then most of the time, I just want to go home and veg. I probably need to be on medication and/or see a therapist. I feel like this is how someone in high school or college would feel. I'm in my early/almost mid thirties. Blah. Midlife crisis? Geez, I really hope not. Cuz I am engaged to a wonderful man and we are planning on having a family. I'd like to think that isn't b/c I'm going through a midlife crisis. Whatev. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I'll probably read this later and think WTF?

The Half.

I ran the half marathon this past weekend. My official time was 2 hours and 24 min and 17 seconds. That was on Saturday. I was super sore, could hardly walk on Sunday. My legs were sore as expected but what sucks is that the bottom outer edge of my feet really, really, really hurt. Bad. It feels like I was tortured/punished and the bottoms of my feet were caned. Not so bad today but I still have to put my feet up at the end of the day. J says it is my plantar fascia. He doesn't think it is plantar fasciitis because that is more of a chronic condition. I just have inflammation of the plantar fascia because I (have the crazies) decided to run a half marathon without training.

5 miles.

I ran 5 miles Saturday. Took me a little less than an hour to finish. First time I've actually run in a over three months and the last time was during practice and was less than a mile. My legs are sore but not too bad. I expected to be in pain and not able to move very well. I really want to run a half marathon this coming Saturday. I have the crazies. We'll see what happens.

Going well.

The transfer to BK is going well. The staff is super great and the head BK attorney is really cool. They, and when I say they, I mean the staff, were making fun of him b/c he is over 40 and rides a BMX at the bike park (yes, he actually gets in the half pipe and tries/does tricks). He gets after it and has the bruises to prove it. I said, "Just give me ten years, I'll be like 'Fuck yeah, I still skate, I'm a derby girl.'" They just roared with laughter. Work, is work. I just want to enjoy it. I still have my civil files and still have to consult with SFT but its OK. I had a talk with the Partner earlier this week , the real partner who actually owns the Firm, and told her (yes, the Partner is a her and I have to admit she is awesome) that I was considering other positions and was most likely going to quit b/c I did not get along with SFT but for the transfer to BK. She didn't quite react but there was a shift in her position and a change in the angle of her head. I believe she heard me. Don't get me wrong, I do not think that I am indispensable. I know that I have to work to live and am at the mercy of others. It is a fact of life for most. It was only by whatever divine intervention that I landed at the Firm. I know my position and am OK with it. I actually have no aspirations to own my own business; I don't want that kind of responsibility -- however much I covet the independence. But I think that is it: I know my position. Do you?
Perhaps that sounds cocky, but for all intents and purposes, if one is content with her/his position in life, whatever position it is, shouldn't that be enough?

Valentine.

Today, as you may all be aware, was the last workday before Valentine's Day, which is on Sunday. Our law firm has multiple offices across the southwestern US. An associate who worked at the same office I did till about a month ago, moved to another state and is now managing partner of an office that the Firm opened there. The new office consists of him, his wife (not an attorney), and another attorney. I did not get along with him when he was at our office. He was a condescending asshole and a cousin (by marriage) to SFT.
This managing partner in another state sent this mass email out today titled "Flower Power" and he wrote "I sent my wife flowers for Valentine's Day but there is no one else here to tell her how pretty the flowers are or how lucky she is. Can you guys tell her that her flowers are pretty and that she is lucky?"
Are you fucking kidding me? WTF? SRSLY? So, yeah, being the brat that I am, responded to ALL, "She deserves more than flowers for putting up with you."
I should be more careful but I just can't help myself. A few others were polite and responded accordingly; most did not respond at all (well, they did not respond to ALL if they did). Maybe next time, if there is a next time and I don't get fired (and I know how much clout he has, which is not much b/c I draft the intra-office contracts -- and as a side note: HA! I had to take the second semester of contracts twice!) he will know better than to cc me on such nonsense.

SFT is still SFT.

I've been working as an attorney for almost two years at a small firm. The senior staff attorney is a turd (think Eric Cartman in South Park "Respect my authorita!") and I've named him SFT for Short Fat Turd. He started off reading a printout of an email on my desk, from the owner to me, and claimed he was looking for candy and happened to read the email. It's been rocky ever since. Today he reached an all time high. SFT is in charge of civil litigation. There is another attorney, a managing partner, in charge of BK. I've been trying to move away from SFT and get into bankruptcy. Changes were in place and civil litigation is moving to another office. BK is staying where it is at. SFT and the associates (no managing partner) had lunch together today. SFT talked about billing and case load. He pointed out that my case load was a bit light. Me: I know, and it's my understanding was that I would do less civil and more BK, BK is not on my case list. If you want, I will put my BK stuff on my case list if u want to review it. SFT: OK b/c I'm worried that you don't have enough work. Me, again: I will put my BK stuff on the case list. SFT then talked about the new office and that "we", as in all of us, were moving in May. Me: You know I'm not moving, right? Him: What? Me: I'm not moving and I'm staying and working with BK as [managing partner's] second. SFT: That's news to me. Me: Well, I talked to [managing partner] and he said I'm staying as his second. SFT: Well, he's not your boss and it's not up to him..... Me: thinking but not saying: he's a managing partner and you're not so I think you're wrong. SFT: ...so do you want to move or do you want to stay? Me: Stay. [awkward silence] Then another associate asked about hobbies or something to change the subject. It was pretty awesomely awkward.
It gets better. After lunch, I'm working at my desk and the managing partner comes into my office and says: you're moving. Me: What? Him: Downstairs to be closer to BK, so that you'll be in the mix of things. Me: I'm not moving to the other office, right? Him: No. Downstairs. Me: Phew! Are you moving me now b/c of what happened at lunch? Him: What happened at lunch? I then ratted out SFT. I'm moving by the end of this week to BK!!! HA!